I completely understand that people can have bad days. It get it. It’s cool. I’ve been a moody mess basically this entire pregnancy so I will not judge anyone for having a mood swing or two. But as bad as my mood swings can be, they are nothing compared to the constant whirlwind that is the toddler. Evie is the sweetest girl in the world 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time, it’s like a little crazy person has inhabited her body. While I know that this is normal to some degree, It can be difficult and frustrating at times. Recently, while my parents were in town, Evie heard someone say the word ‘Ice Cream”. She immediately perked up and said “I want that”. I told her that she could have a little bit after dinner, but not right now. She said again ‘ I want that” and wandered into the kitchen, frustration mounting. I again said no and she screeched “I want ice cream! I want ice cream!”. I knelt down and looked her in the eye and told her no, not right now. After dinner. Tears and stomping followed. She needed it now, but I didn’t relent. We are trying to make her understand that sometimes she has to be patient and wait. She was so upset, but I held my ground and then tried to distract her by asking her to build me a tower out of her blocks. After a few more sobs, she suddenly seemed happier and began to build her tower. I wish I could say such scene only happened that once, but it happens frequently. Mostly when she wants something RIGHT NOW that we refuse to give to her. I suppose of this just comes with toddlerhood and learning how to deal with not getting your way. And I really hope she grows out of this and learns to accept things gracefully in the – probably far off – future.
I know that I have asked my parents more than once how they did it when they were raising kids. How do you deal with the temper tantrums and the crying fits? How do you deal with the absolute refusal of your toddler to accept that the current situation is not what they want, but that they will not be getting what they want so they may as well just get over it and move on? How do deal with the fact that your kid can turn on the pout and the tears like a seasoned pro when she wants, in an effort to get her way? My parents are very careful not to tell what me I should be doing. Sometimes they will have some anecdotes of they own children’s childhoods and how they dealt with particular situations, but for the most part, they just try and offer support to us in how we are raising our daughter. This can be frustrating since I want someone to give me answers, but I definitely appreciate it because it tells me that they respect us as the parents and that maybe, hopefully, we are doing to right thing. Recently both of my parents have told me that they think we’re doing something right because Evie is a good kid. I don’t know if that’s true or not – I know that we try our best – but it means so much to hear that someone thinks so.
For now we are just dealing with each day as it comes. We are trying to be consistent in our parenting and our rules. Pat and I both agree that if we tell her that they will be a consequence if she does something she’s not supposed to be doing, we stick to it. For example, she was coloring the other day and started to walk away from the table with her crayons. I told her that the crayons stayed at the table, but she insisted on trying to take them into the family room. I told her if she didn’t bring the crayons back to table, then it was time to put the crayons away. She refused, insisting on moving further into the room. So I took the crayons away from her and put them up. She got them back eventually, but she had to learn the I meant what I said. It can be hard because I’m not with her everyday so she may follow different rules when she’s at daycare. But at home, she follows our rules. I can see that she’s learning. She may not get it right every time, but she is learning right from wrong.
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