Our house isn't perfect.
There are scuff marks on the walls, stains on the carpet and crumbs on the kitchen floor. Our glass storm door could use a hefty dose of Windex and my kids drew pictures in the dust on my night stand. Our clean laundry is folded, but hasn't been put away yet (and some of it might actually still be in the dryer). We've got weeds that we need to pull in the front yard and closets we should probably organize. Our refrigerator has been on the fritz for at least a month and our kitchen table has definitely seen better days. Our home isn't big or fancy. And sometimes... I'm ashamed to admit...I get a little envious of other people. I probably spend too much time on Instagram looking at other people's 'perfect' lives. I know it's not all real, but gosh darn it - it feels like those people have it all together! Their houses look pristine and I look see those pictures and think 'I wish...".
I really don't like this about myself. It's a fault in myself that I'm trying to change because I have absolutely no right to feel that way. We're not rich and we may not live in a big house, but that's okay. We have each other. Our home is full of love. It's full of life. It's not perfect, but it's ours.
The picture below is our refrigerator tonight. It's a royal mess, but I can't bring myself to change a thing. We have pictures of beautiful new babies and beloved family members. There are multicolored alphabet letters, Halloween magnets and a smudged dry-erase calendar of our current events. And there is artwork that my kids are so proud to hang up. It's a mess, but each time I see it, I smile.
My parents spent the first weekend at our home in a year and that is amazing. It's amazing!! If you would have asked me last January if this weekend was possible, I wouldn't have been able to answer. Because I didn't know. That's scary. And it hurts. But I have to put the fear and the pain aside and move forward because what choice is there? Life goes on. But that doesn't mean we should forget what we've learned...we can't lose sight of what's important.
I'll probably always have a little bit of envy for those who live in big, beautiful houses and have 'more' than I do. I think it's human nature to want 'more'. But I try to remind myself of what is really important. Family and friends. Love and laughter. Good health and hope. I tell myself that it's not just those big things. It's the snuggles, the giggles, the laughter and even the tears. We need to spend our time being grateful for what we have, not pining for things that we don't.
My mom probably won't like that I posted the picture below of her. She's not a huge fan of pictures of herself. But I love it. It's real and it's happy and it makes me tear up. She is gorgeous and my little girl is so happy to be snuggled up and spending time with Kiki. It's wonderful and PERFECT. This moment is amazing and I'm so happy I could capture it. It could have been different. Life could have dealt us a different hand.
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