Monday, we woke up and went to work & school. In the evening, we grabbed a quick dinner from Wendy’s and went to Evie’s soccer practice. The kids played on the playground afterward. We went home for bathtime, storytime and bedtime. It would have been typical Monday for us. Except it wasn’t.
Typically I get to work, grab a cup of coffee and exchange some morning pleasantries with my co-workers. Monday, the topic of conversation was the furthest thing from pleasant, but unfortunately it’s becoming far too typical – Gun Violence. We actually had a meeting about not letting former employees into the office without getting clearance because we aren’t sure who might be angry and disgruntled, and who might just be popping in for a visit.
Normally when I get home from work, I play with the kids and we catch each other up on our days. Yesterday, Pat and I hugged our kids a little tighter and talked in whispered tones as we played with them because we wanted to try shield them from the horror that erupted in Las Vegas.
Usually when we go to Wendy’s, the kids sit at the little tables next to the fake fireplace. There is a TV above that usually has cartoons or HGTV playing. Sometimes we watch it, but we also like to look at window at the busy road and play ‘I Spy’. Yesterday, there were no cartoons. The news was on and images of the terrifying scene in Las Vegas filled the screen. The kids were mostly oblivious. We don’t watch TV news at home in front of them and they aren’t very interested in many non-animated shows. We kept them taking about their days. They both sang a Meal Blessing song they learned in school multiple times and giggled amongst themselves. But then Evelyn – my perceptive, sometimes too-smart-for-her-own-good, tenderhearted little girl – suddenly asked “Mama – what happened to those people?” She was so serious and her eyes were so solemn. I told her that they got hurt very badly. She looked stricken and sadly as ‘How did they get hurt Mama?” I glanced at Pat, because I wasn’t sure exactly what to say. I ended up telling her that the police officers were still trying to figure out exactly what happened. Such a non-answer, but she accepted it. We finished up quickly then and headed to soccer practice, but the conversation stuck with me.
I struggle with how to explain stuff like this to my children. I wish that I didn’t have to explain anything at all to them about guns and violence. But ignoring the problem isn’t going to make it go away. My kids don’t know much about guns. Pat and I do not own any and we are not comfortable being around them. We don’t buy the kids toy guns and we do not allow them to play any games that feature guns. However, the reality is that it really doesn’t matter what we say – we cannot shield them from it completely. We’ve tried to teach our kids to never, ever play with a gun. Seems simple enough, but have you seen some of the ‘toy’ guns out there?! They look completely real! So we have to tell our kids that sometimes toy guns and real guns can look alike so if they are somewhere and see a gun, they should never, ever point it at someone because someone could get very badly hurt.
I think we’ve made it clear that guns are dangerous. But then a few weeks ago, I found the kids playing and shooting at each other with ‘guns’ made from their index finger and thumb. It may seem like such an innocuous thing, but to me…I don’t know. It just wasn’t. To me it proved that we live in a society were guns are prevalent and our kids are growing up in a gun culture regardless of if we own one or not. To me, if proved that we are going to have to ask the parents of our children’s playmates if they have guns in the house. It’s not that we wouldn’t let them play there. But we would need to know that, if there is a gun in the house, it is lock up and inaccessible to children. But it extends far beyond the home. People keep guns in their cars and in their purses. It wasn’t that long ago that I heard a story on the news about a two year old finding their mother’s gun in her purse and shooting her in a grocery store…The mother died. I’ve heard stories about little kids bringing guns to school to show their friends. A co-worker told me that she’s known people that have accidently shot themselves in the leg because they are carrying a gun and it went off because they didn’t’ have the safety locked. That’s unacceptable.
I don’t know what the answer is. But I do know that doing nothing isn’t an option. Life is unpredictable. But we should not be afraid to go to a concert. We should not be afraid to go to work. We should not be afraid to send our children to school. We should not be afraid to walk down the street. I want my children to grow up safe and happy, but I’m scared of our world right now. I don’t see anything changing as far as gun control anytime soon, especially with our current president and political environment. I mean, after the complete tragedy that happened yesterday, gun sales spiked and gun stocks went up. It makes me sick to my stomach and breaks my heart.
I read something Dan Rather wrote on Monday that resonated with me…
“As the grief shakes within me, as the numbing sensation of senseless loss engulfs my mind, I reel with the sickening knowledge that this has happened again…again…again…scores of lives cut short in a burst of gun violence – more children without parents and parents without children.
As I contend with the sadness, another emotion wells within me, an unrelenting and abiding anger. How can we consider ourselves the greatest country on earth and allow this to happen again…and again…and again…Are we really so powerless and impotent? Those are not the qualities I have come to expect from this nation or its leaders.
I grew up in a gun culture and have owned guns. But there is a difference between common sense and senselessness. And right now many of our gun laws are senseless. The scale of carnage in Las Vegas suggests a level of firepower that has no business being in the hands of civilians.
Is it too soon to say that we have been here before? Does it disrespect the memories of the most recent innocent victims? I am sure many will think so. But if not now, when? In the wake of terrorist attacks, we pledge to do whatever is necessary to protect lives in the future. Isn’t this a terrorist attack? I am sure those in the audience last night felt the terror in their hearts. After a plane crashes, we look at every possible source or weakness and fix the system. Why should guns be different?
And one final note on last night’s shooting. Most of the initial news reports didn’t mention the shooter’s race or religion. Could you imagine if the circumstances had been different? It’s a reminder that sickness and violence is not bound to any one demographic. And we should be very careful before we fall into simplistic narratives.
There are no words or prayers we can offer to lessen the lifetimes of grief that lie ahead for those affected. But we can pledge to all do our part to unite and do our best to find ways to diminish the chances of it happening again”.
We need to do more so that this never happens again. Never again.
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