I got on here tonight to write something. I wasn’t sure what. I got into my Drafts folder by mistake and came across this. I wrote it in October, on the anniversary of my Aunt Linda’s death, but never posted it for some reason. Aunt Linda has been on my mind so much lately. Christmas reminds me of her. I wanted to post this because I wanted to remember her. And to remind myself to not ignore the butterflies.
“There are no goodbyes…only good memories.”
That thought has been running through my head since last night. I heard it on a TV show I was watching and it struck me how true the statement is.
Today it’s been a year since we lost my amazing Aunt Linda and our hearts are heavy and hurting because we all miss her so much. But, more often than not, when I think of her, it’s not with tears, but with laughter and happiness. I feel incredibly blessed that she was my aunt and a constant presence in my life from the day I was born. I wish we had more time with her, but I am so grateful for all of the years that we did have. Today I tried hard to think about all of the all the things that I gained with having Aunt Linda in my life instead of all the things we’ve lost since her death.
Today, I went for a walk on my lunch break. It was an overcast, damp day. Moisture literally hung in the air and I decided not to walk too far just in case it started to pour. As I walked along the sidewalk in a neighborhood near my office, a monarch butterfly flew in front of me. I didn’t think too much of it at first, but as I continued to walk, it again flew in my path. Did you know that butterflies hide when it rains? Little wonder since they are so small and their wings are so fragile. I’ve read that even on cloudy days, butterflies are rarely seen because even the threat of rain keeps them hiding. These facts ran through my mind as I watched the orange and black butterfly flutter into a nearby flower bed. As I started to continue down the street, another thought came to me - a butterfly is a symbol of resurrection. “It’s said when you see a butterfly, it’s someone you love in heaven reminding you of them and giving you a reason to remember all of the beautiful memories you shared with them”. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so strange to see that butterfly. I spent the rest of my walk thinking of memories I have of Aunt Linda. I thought about holidays and birthdays spent at the Klare house. I thought about walking to her house from the bus stop a few times when I was in high school and always feeling welcome whenever I stopped by their home. I thought about a time I was home alone at night once a teenager and got so freaked out because I thought I heard a noise upstairs. I called her in a panic and she didn’t make me feel silly or stupid for being afraid. I thought about how she was the first person that I called after my parents when Pat and I got engaged and about the beautiful bridal shower she threw for me. I thought about the things I loved most about Aunt Linda – her kind and loving heart and her generous spirit.
I love you Aunt Linda. I miss you.
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