Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Finding the Words

I’m having a hard time blogging right now.  When your world is rocked, it’s hard to find the words sometimes I guess.  I’m scared for my mom, yet I have faith and hope.  I won’t give up.  Life can be hard, but we are strong.  My mom shows me that every day.  She is the absolute strongest person I know.  She rarely complains and she thinks of her kids and loved ones before All else. She’s my hero.  

My mom and I have had our battles.  It’s been brutal at times.  It’s honestly hard to think about sometimes without feeling intense regret for lost tempers and wasted time.  But despite it all, today we are closer than ever.  So I chose to put aside that regret and focus on the here and now.  It’s not forgotten- it never could be.  I think about it when I argue with Evelyn.  It’s surreal because now I’m on the other side.  I’m the mom.  And my daughter has my temper. I don’t know how my mom did it because to be honest, sometimes it’s really hard.  Evelyn is passionate.  She loves passionately.  She’s got the softest, sweetest heart.  But that passion carries over into swift mood swings and knee jerk reactions.  She exhibits mine (and her father’s) best and worst characteristics.  We see ourselves reflected in her. And Mitchell too for that matter.  It’s eye-opening.   

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this.  It’s just thoughts in my head that needed to come out.  My mom once said to me that she thought that she’d made a lot of mistakes as a parent. Don’t we all ?!?!?  I sure hope so because I make mistakes daily.  But my mom... my parents...Pat’s parents... were the best parents that they could be.  I know Pat would say the same.  We do our best to live up to them as parents to our own kids. How many people can say that?  Blessed doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel.   

The picture below is Kiki’s Korner.  Evelyn and Asa helped her decide what kind of chair to get.  It’s a special place in their house where they can snuggle and forget their troubles.  Avi was so excited when it came and he couldn’t wait to sit on it.  Evelyn and Mitch are so thrilled!!  We love you Kiki!





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