From Sunday morning to Wednesday evening of this week, it was just me and the kids. Pat jetted off to Portland to soak of the food scene and experience the city’s unique culture. For the most part, the kiddos and I did fine. Sure, we missed Daddy, but we muddled through and had some fun while doing it. Don’t get me wrong – I really missed having a partner in this parenting gig. I have a new respect for all the single parents out there. I don’t know how they do it all and still find time to sleep and stay sane. I also have even more respect for the stay-at-home parents out there. I have no problem being home alone with my children all day, but that doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting. I was actually looking forward (just a teensy-tiny bit) to going to work on Monday after dealing with the kids all day Sunday by myself. I got to decompress a little, have an adult conversation, drink my morning coffee before it got cold and eat a meal sitting down without having to jump up every 2 seconds to rock a baby, replace a paci, clean up a spill and dislodge a bean that got stuck up a nose. I got a little peace.
I tried to keep Evie busy while Pat was gone. Sunday, we went to church, ran home, packed a quick picnic and went to the zoo for a few hours. I didn’t know it ahead of time, but it was Boo at the Zoo. Everything was all decked out for Halloween and the kids came in costume and were able to trick-or-treat at treat stations set up around the zoo. Since I didn’t know about it, Evie wasn’t in costume, but she didn’t seem to mind. I avoided the treat stations because I didn’t want Evie to have the extra sugar, but she did manage to score a Cheryl’s Cookie! I asked if I could have a little bit and she, after taking a big lick of the icing, she said “Sure Mama!”. Uh…never mind Ev – it’s all yours. Later, after her nap, we took a walk and collected leaves and did an art project. Evie got to use a glue stick and glue the leaves to paper. She was in heaven getting to use a glue stick. Monday is always a somewhat grumpy day for us. We’re all tired after having to get up and start a new week and we generally lay low and veg out. After eating some delicious chicken noodle soup that Pat prepared ahead of time, Evie and I snuggled up in our pajamas and watched Garfield’s Halloween. I’d forgotten that it’s just a little bit scary, but Evie refused to let me turn it off so we followed it with Garfield’s Thanksgiving and Garfield’s Christmas in my attempt to banish any bad dreams she might have. On Tuesday, I decided to get out of the house for a bit and take Evie to the library for the Pajama Storytime. We went on an adventure to the Old Worthington branch instead of the one we normally visit. In the beginning of the evening, we were doing really well. Everyone had dinner, baths and pajamas on before we headed out around 6:30. Storytime started at 7 so Evie and I were able to explore the children’s section a little and pick out some good books. Storytime started and I immediately noticed that this storytime was a little bit more rowdy than the one we normally go to at Northwest. I’ve tried hard to instill good listening skills in Evie. She knows that she needs listen to the ‘library lady” and sit down when everyone else does. Last night, some kids were standing up constantly, ignoring the stories and not listening to anything. Evie was good for a while, but pretty soon I could see that she was distracted and wanting to get up and play too. I also noticed about halfway through that she had a dirty diaper. This was unfortunate for several reasons. 1 – It smelled. 2 – She wouldn’t come near me because she knew I’d make her leave so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get her out of the room without a scene. 3. – She wouldn’t sit on her bottom and could not sit still and 4. – I had just used the last of the wipes from the diaper bag to change Mitchell’s diaper right before storytime started. Luckily, it wasn’t a blowout so I waited another 15 minutes for storytime to end and hightailed it out of the room. Or at least I tried to do that. Evie normally gets the chance to play with the blocks and toys after the storytime, but today I didn’t feel like we needed to subject the rest of the children to Evie and her stinky diaper. Evie, however, disagreed. She proceeded to throw one of the most awful, most epic, most mortifying temper tantrums that she has ever thrown. Even now, I cringe. Evie absolutely refused to walk. She would not get up off the ground and when I tried to make her stand up, she hit me and tried to bite my hand. I’m always kind of at a loss about how to deal with situations like this in public. At home, I would drop everything and she would sit in timeout no matter how much she screamed and then we would talk about the right way to behave. But we were in the middle of a quiet library, surrounded by other children and their parents. I had Mitch in the baby carrier and was also carrying the diaper bag and library books. I tried to speak calmly and quietly to her, but you can’t reason with a 2 year old. She just got mad and yelled louder. I couldn’t pick her up and carry the baby at the same time so I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the nearest exit. She picked up her feet and refused to walk so I was basically dragging her while she was trying to bite my hand. I realized too late that I hadn’t checked our books out yet. I should have just put them all back because Evie didn’t deserve new books, but I was frazzled and not thinking straight. A kind librarian offered to help me check out and the entire time she scanned the books, Evie was yelling “I don’t like you! I’m going bite you and hit you!” I was so embarrassed and I apologized several times to the librarian for her behavior and told Evie that she was not supposed to talk that way, it was mean and it made me sad. The librarian was so nice and looked so sympathetic. She even piped in when Evie was yelling and said “Sometimes we fell like doing those things, but we can’t because that wouldn’t be nice”. Such a simple thing, but I appreciate it. She didn’t look at Evie like she was a demon child, just a child having a bad moment. I managed to get us out the door - Evie was still refusing to walk – and once we got outside, I let go of her hand and told her she needed to get up and walk to the car. She refused so I kept walking, knowing she would follow because it was dark and she is scared of the dark. Sure enough, I had only managed a step or two before she got up and caught up to me. She then decided that she would run away from me which was awesome (not) because we were in a parking lot. I managed to grab the hood of her raincoat to keep her from running in front of a car and then we finally, finally made it to the car. Once both kids were safely buckled in, I took several deep breaths, told Evie again how upset her behavior made me…and then I called my mom. I was practically in tears and I just needed to talk to her. I needed her to tell me what to do and of course, she couldn’t. She won’t tell me how to parent. She listens and she’ll offer advice once in a while, but she has never overstepped and told me what I should be doing. Even when I’ve asked. She respects me as the parent and backs up my decisions. She told me that I handled it as best I could and she offered to talk to Evie via Facetime when we got home. We called her and she told Evie how sad she was to hear about how Evie acted and how Evie needs to be a good girl. Evie listened and promised to be good. I’m grateful my mom talked to her. I’ll have all of her grandparents talk to her if it will made a difference and keep incidences like the one last night a minimum. I found out later from the sitter that Evie refused to sleep during her nap that day so that explains a lot. I know that tantrums can happen anytime, but Evie with no sleep = child terror. I would never have left the house if I’d known. From now on, I won’t forget to ask! I’m sad that Evie got upset and I got upset. But we’ll learn from it and hopefully deal better next time. That’s all we can do. Yesterday is over and tomorrow is another day!
I’m grateful that my husband is home. The support that we offer each other is essential and I know that now more than ever!
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