5 months

It’s been just over 5 months since we’ve lost my mom.  People still occasionally ask if I’m doing ok, and to be honest, I’m not sure how to answer.  I’m getting by and the kids are slowly adjusting to this new reality.  We had a busy summer and we spent lots of time with family and friends.  I’m doing the best that I can to make sure that my kids are happy and healthy.  And they really are doing great!  Evelyn is loving second grade and is really becoming my little bookworm.  Mitch is doing great in school too and he just started his first season of soccer.  He’s loving it!  They drive me nutty, but they make me laugh and give me hope.  There are days where I’m not sure what I’d do without them.  But there are also days where I wish I could just curl up under the bed covers and not be in parent-mode.  

These days I feel like life just doesn’t make sense and I feel lost.  I go through the motions everyday, but it’s hazy and muted somehow. I don’t know what to do to make it better so I just push through.  I try to be a good mom, but I’m sure I’m lacking there too.  It doesn’t help that Pat is working so much. Don’t get me wrong... I’m so proud of him!  The restaurant is doing amazing and it’s incredible to watch his dream come true.  But it’s hard too because he’s exhausted and I’m exhausted and there isn’t a whole lot that we can do to change that right now.  This is our life at the moment.  It could be worse.  I know it could be.  But it’s still hard sometimes.

I miss my mom.  I miss our talks.  I miss her encouragement and her love.  I want her to be here to tell me that everything will be ok.  But she’s not and I’m struggling.  

Here’s pic from the first day of school...  these kiddos.... ❤️❤️❤️